When you're deep down, you can only go up! (From a workshop “Developing your new product and brand” where I participated as a speaker and menthor)

11 Jun , 2018

It was the first meeting of a two-month workshop for which I was preparing for several weeks. I was nervous and scared. When I entered the building in which I should give a lecture, I realized that I forgot all notes and presentation at home. The workshop was about to start in 10 minutes and I freaked out. I was in such panic and felt terrified. The lobby suddenly seemed big, spacious, people walking around me like mute images. Someone even asked me: »Are you okay?« My inner critic was mocking, »Haha, well done, Gašper! You always screw it up. Look at you, you're so pitiful.«My heart was beating and I was having cramps in my stomach. For a moment I wished I would be wiped off the face of the Earth. But then I remembered of a very well-known saying: When you're deep down, you can only go up. I looked at the stairs that led to the lecture room and somehow connected walking the stairs with raising up in the difficult situation. I breathed deeply, telling myself that I can do it and every step was easier. I felt some peace and asked myself: »Gašper, how can you turn this situation in your favor?« In a minute I got all the answers. I sensed the powerful warrior inside, telling me: »Gašper, you don't really need notes because you know everything by heart. You still have 10 minutes and meanwhile you can draw the presentation and find photos online. With a help of colleague (thank you, Janez Mesarič for all the support) I made a slideshow and then, with a lump in my throat and shaky knees I stepped in front of the workshop participants. I told them what happened and asked them for patience. Dead silence was in the air and I started talking just to cut it off. Then I got the flow and started to feeling the audience. I was speaking honestly, from my heart and made a genuine contact with the people. In the end I was even glad that I forgot the notes at home. This experience taught me a lot about improvisation, controlling fear and I got new confidence. I feel so grateful for this. Everyone who were present, thank you for the experience!